The Send Off

Today is the send off day for my Cousin Ah Yan sis.

location: Blk 204, Bt Batok
Weather: dizzling
Time: 345pm

I went to pick up my mum today at around 150pm, and reached the wake 2pm. not much ppl had arrival there, expect some aunties and uncles. I guess some of them might had stay over night. I seat around for while, when one of my kaki cousin come from the dizzling rain. slowly, I can see the rest of her church mate begans to arrival and students begin to comes in. We started to arrange the tables and chairs for the strong 200 pax as expected.

Busess and vans is also coming and the van that going to carry the coffin also came. when everyone was seated, the pastor begin to hand our the songs and poems to the crowds. they started to sing song, said prayers and read poem.

it was a short prayers, when the bearers begin to carry the coffin into the van. I had not notices it, when I heard a cries from one of her students. my kaki cousin asked me to join him, the group of 200 pax had already form up behind the coffin van, when the immidate family follow the van closely. walking behind the van, it was still dizzling when a familiar song that must have being her favourite is singing behind the van. I was walking just behind the family when her youngest nieces started to cry. This is follow by the rest of my cousins and the rest. The mood was terrible. we only walked a while, when we are ushered up the bus, it sent us over to mandai for her finaly jounery.

We do not really talk on the bus, just seated and thinking. reaching mandai, we went into the hall, while the family stay outside moving the coffins into the front hall. A mass is held, songs is sang and we also say some poem. the pastors praised the lord and prayed for the family to be strong, courages and have the wisdom to get thru this. Finally, the pastor asked for everyone to pay our final respect to her and placed a flower on top of her coffin. most of the church goer and her student got to pay the last respects, i stand behind the line. I think i am the last one who had the last flower. when i placed the flower onto the coffin, i peeked on Ah yan sis face. she looked calm and she seem smiling. upon seeing this, my heart felt better, i knew this is the last time i will looked at her. my heart begins to shink again.

we went over to the viewing hall, this we witness the "cerementation" I did not stay in the font, actually, i wont want to go in, if not for my cousin dragged me. the family and all my cousin went in the front, when i stay behind the others. I could not see anything but what i heard next was really heart wenching... started with some small cries, saying goodbye, I heard a big cries, shouting for "3rd aunt". next everyone is crying, even those next to me. I just stay behind, holding on to my believe, that she will be in God hands and also in a better place. I bid good bye and say sliently, We will see each other in heaven.

15mins only, it seem like a life time. when the coffin went into the furnace. we went off. walking out, I looked at the furnace, the coffin is already inside. I walked off with the others out of the viewing hall. I try to comfort the others, but i couldnt, I only can offer them drinks, a hand on their shoulders, a "looked" or just a nodded. I knew they are recovering. i am glad.

time: 630pm

I send my mum home, when she baths and i waited for her when i sent her back to my 5th auntie house again.

I am glad, that on her final jounery, there are so many strangers, church goers, students and most relatives sending her. she does not have a good life, she did not have a good relationship with her mum, I guess she found console during church, that why she choose to become a music pastor. where she touches many hearts, young and old. I did not really remember her, only her big sizes and know that she studying and teaching in a church.

Today, thru your last jounery, I know you a little bit more. This is not the way I should know a person but if God intended it to be, I will accept it, Learn it and not make this mistake again. I had shed a tear for you. For this, I will remember you