Motivation?

This week was hectic, preparing of the year end meeting and so much bad log at work. All these making a work out seemingly impossible. Sometime, i wished i was back in sales. all i have to do, was to worry if i am getting enough commission or incentive in the end of the month. I just need to make sure i hit target and get the enough profit for a small "motivation" end of the month.

Being in the back end of the work, I used to think it was easy, you just need to plan it properly and everything would be predictable. There should not be any last minutes and all would be planned and timed. Obviously it is not in many case, last minute fire fighting are more now, I had now become an officially complaint department.

Stuff that i had to heard almost everyday
1. not enough sales call done, too much joint visits
2. no project support
3. no pricing support
4. no delivery support
5. inventory too high
6. lousy customer services
7. lousy manufacture support

It was not easy for me, when i came from Sales, when I use to "bad mouth" all this like them, it is easy when i don`t have the need to deal with all the above face to face. it is all different now. worst of all, they expect you work like you use to and triple responsibility that are not realise at all.

Management pressure does not come easy as well, the more senior you are, people would expect the impossible from you even though, they know it is against company policy. They "thinks" that when i used to come from the sales, now would be able to understand and make a "break thru" when it could not or in fact never works previously. For the records, it can`t work for me too!

I am not someone who think i am good at my work, i just stretch if i have to, work to complete the job i need to do. I had and know my limits, physically and mentally. I know what motivate me and it isn`t working now. I need guidance, not someone to find fault at me all the time. I need to be heard, question answers, but when this happen, there are excuses or pushing my question back to me.

This only makes me feel lousy and unsatisfied, walking away full of question unanswer and suddenly i felt that these question become blames, shooting back at me. why do i even have to ask in the first place. I am so stupid!